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|Lesson Six: Soul Ties|
Have you ever met someone and instantly became their friend? You may have called it becoming "soul mates." There are actual ties formed. The Bible explains it for us.
I. Soul Ties Happen
God has orchestrated human life so that we live in interdependence. We use the phrase "forming close ties" to indicate this attachment with others. We say we "bond" with our families, with our friends and with people in our community. And we certainly understand the even deeper relationship with those in the Body of Christ.
Those are just words: close ties, bonding. But those terms indicate real ties that go deeper than simple phrases. The Bible teaches that in forming relationships we become "knit together."
A. In Friendship
It happens in simple deep friendship. The Bible talks about this bond being formed between Jonathan and David. You remember the story. David had just killed Goliath and was still walking around with the Giant's head in his hand when King Saul calls for him and speaks with him. Jonathan is obviously standing nearby probably in awe of what a teen his own age could do when his trust was not in his own skill but in the God he served. He had heard David say, "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the Living God?" Jonathan heard David say that this Living God, who had delivered him from the paw of a lion and the paw of a bear while he was a shepherd, would certainly deliver him from this Philistine. So, Jonathan, standing back, watching this young man of great faith and courage, developed an instant attachment to him. The Bible says: "Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself."
Jonathan and David were spiritual equals. They were physical equals. And they were both men of valor. Later, the Bible detailed how Jonathan and his armor bearer climbed up a cliff and totally rout over 100,000 enemy troops by themselves. (I can just hear the Philistines say, "Oh no! There are two of them!")
In an instant, because of a total connection in soul and spirit, the Bible says their souls were "knit" together.
To illustrate this, you could tie a string to your belt and throw the ball of string to one person. Have him return it to you.So we see there are actual bonds or "soul ties" formed in friendships. But there are even stronger bonds formed in families. (
B. In families.
A noted social worker, Virginia Satir has written on this subject, although she doesn't call these connections "soul ties". She writes that in a family, there is one bond between husband and wife, and one returning from wife to husband. Then when they have children, there is another bond from mother to baby. Then there is another one from baby back to mother. Add one from father to baby and one more from baby to father. These bonds increase with each child as the new sibling connects, not only with the parents, but also with the other children. This, she explains, is why divorce is so painful. All these bonds are severed.
You can illustrate this by taking the string and tying it in the same manner.
C. In Marriage
But these bonds, whether in friendship or in families, are nothing compared to the ones formed in the marriage bed. The bond goes even deeper. God says in His Word that "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." The word translated "united"  is translated "cleave" in the KJV. It means to cling or adhere; to cleave (fast together)." They are so entwined that they become glued together.
We understand two becoming one flesh in the physical act. We understand how two become one when a child is conceived, taking half its chromosomes from one parent and half from the other. But there is a spiritual component here. God actually does something in the spiritual realm to join a man and a woman together.
Malachi 2:15a says, "Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His.
It is the bond formed in this union that we refer to as a "soul tie." It is an actual tie - binding two together, a tying and gluing together of two souls. The two become one in body, soul and spirit.
Look at these ties we have formed with yarn. They form a boundary around friendships and the family. By the way, the term "husband" is from the Old English word "house-band". The Husband "keeps" or surrounds and protects his home. The husband is the gatekeeper for the home.
Let's have some more Biblical proof of cleaving.
"But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh,......: Solomon cleaved unto these in love." 
Solomon was "glued" to his 700 wives.
C. In Illicit Sex
The bad news is that this bond occurs in sinful sexual acts without the benefit of marriage. You see, God never intended for sex to be outside of a committed, loving relationship. But God's laws work the same way for good or evil. So when a person has sex outside of marriage, the tie is fastened.
In Genesis 3, God told Eve that her desire would be toward her husband. And he would rule over her.  The woman develops a strong desire toward her husband- or any sexual partner. This might explain why women become hung up on a guy who beats them. "But I love him!" they say.
More bad news: when a person has sex with several partners, many bonds form.
To illustrate this, throw the string to several people. Have them loop it around their backs and throw it back. See how you are all "bound together."The Bible says, "...a man who commits adultery lacks judgment: whoever does so destroys himself." The King James translation says "Destroys his own soul."
It is because the "soul tie" ties you to another person besides your wife or husband. And this gives an opening, a gateway, to the enemy of your soul because you "give place" to the devil. You open a highway to hell for all the spiritual baggage carried by the person you are having sex with. Modern science tells us that when you have sex with someone, you are really having sex with the last seven people they had sex with. What do you think is happening spiritually?
Joesphus, the Jewish Historian for the Romans said that "Solomon grew mad in his love of women, and laid no restraint on himself in his lusts.."
To put it in modern terms: Solomon with his 700 wives and 300 concubines had a sexual addiction problem. He was tied to 1000 women.
The word "addict" comes from a term used by the Romans assigning debtors in service to their creditors. Thus we can infer from this word that we become indelibly attached to those we have sex with.
What does the Bible say about illicit sex?
"With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose..." (Sounds a lot like a fastening or a tie to me.)
Then the proverb continues, "'til an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.
Sexually transmitted diseases affect the liver. Do you think God knew that when He wrote the Bible? So, when God says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" He is giving good, sound advice for the body, soul and spirit.So what? So why do we care? When we get saved, Jesus Christ covers all our sins, right? That's true, but the soul ties stay until you sever them and the gate opened to evil stays wide open until you close it. So we have a handout for you showing how to sever soul ties and close gates. You do it with your words.
Even if you have only had sex with your spouse, but you had illicit sex prior to marriage, that sinful action formed an unholy soul tie. You need to repent, sever the unholy soul tie and close the gate, so that only the holy soul tie formed in marriage remains.
You need to do this for each individual you had sex with. Because they got saved late in life, some people will have difficulty remembering. So you can describe the person or scene. God knows. You can also ask the LORD to bring to your remembrance any sexual activity outside of marriage.
So we have printed up a form for your use in this process. Let's review it now.Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for loving me so much You sent Your Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross for me and forgive me of all my sins. This day, LORD, I want to clean up the loose ends. I want to close all the gates. I want to sever all the soul ties. Lord, help me remember every event and every person in order to complete this work. In Jesus' Name I ask. Amen.
Father, I confess that I have had illicit sex with ___________________. I repent of that sin and I turn from it. Please forgive me. Then, LORD, I ask You to sever the unholy soul tie between ___________ and me. I cancel all ground gained in my members because of my unrighteous behavior. I cancel all assignments against me because of my sinful acts. Now, LORD, close the gate I opened through sin and open the gate to your blessing. Enable me to maintain a pure heart, a clean spirit and chaste body, In Jesus' Mighty Name. Amen.
 I Samuel 18:1
 Genesis 2:24
 Strong's # 1692 dabaq
 I Kings 11:1,2 KJV
 Genesis 3:16b
 Proverbs 5:32 NIV
 Flavius Josephus, "The Complete Works of Josephus, The Antiquities of the Jews, regel Publications, Grand Rapids, MI, 1960,78,81, Ch. VII, page 182.
 American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster 1828. G& C Merriam Company, Republished by permission by the1, Foundation for Christian Education, San Francisco, CA 1967,1995.
 Proverbs 7:21-23 NIV